THE CATEGORY
CABINET

Simon’s restaurant stop is picked as the film’s best food-and-drink moment.

They give the insult award to the parking-garage attendant scene where Jerry unloads on the “clip-on tie” guy.

Flight surgeon horseshit is offered as a highly reusable phrase for bureaucratic nonsense.

The Star Trek guys’ 'carbon-based douchebag' line is picked as the best insult.

The hosts pick the behind-the-scenes Billy Jacoby anecdotes as the standout story from the film shoot.

They question whether Book is sufficiently careful or urgent about the danger to his family and colleagues.

Bill champions it as an incoherent failure that nevertheless rules for him.

The attempted call did not connect, so the bit produced no actual verdict.

The main movie-specific pick is Carl Weathers getting slicked up after working in the jungle, though they also mention Fast Five as a broader example.

They estimate the film’s body count at roughly a few hundred deaths.

When comparing body-swap movies, they point to Freaky Friday as the clearest reference point.

They explicitly award Julianne Moore for the movie's standout on-screen smoking and the way it enhances her character.

They concluded the movie is basically in a class of its own for borderline-prostitution rom-coms.

They decide the fake cat that tricks Jack is the best animal performance.

They call it a huge family favorite and lament that comedies like it are rarer now.

They selected the hiding-things quote as the most memorable line, while also citing the cuffs exchange.

In a side comparison of cartel movies, the hosts treat Sicario as a top-tier entry but acknowledge Scarface's longer cultural tail.

They run through a lot of what-ifs, but end up affirming that Juliette Lewis was the right casting choice.

They conclude that Tom Hanks would have worked, but Michael Keaton is the best alternate casting for Griffin Dunne’s role.

They cite Francis Lawrence's muted-viewing of The Pianist as the inspiration for the movie's sparse sound and eerie quiet.

They joke that Han Solo is the character who could have plausibly carried a cigarette and made it work.

The hosts identify the movie’s familiar 80s-style loser-guy/relationship trope, but do not name a formal winner.

They agreed Ennis would have benefited from having a dog, and renamed the flex category around that idea.

They agree the award is for scenes that exist to flatter the star, using The Mule and similar examples as the model.

They use the award to praise Greg Henry as the De Palma regular who always fits this world.

The lesson they drew was to never underestimate a horny alien.

The hosts treat Blue Chips as the favorite college basketball movie in the conversation, while still praising 70s entries like One on One.

They frame it as a month for comeback vehicles like The Wrestler, but do not pick a winner.

When comparing ensemble comedies, Anchorman came out ahead while Best in Show stayed in the conversation.

They end by talking through how the movie might be reimagined, but the discussion is really a final defense of De Mornay's performance.

They agree the movie works as a film and would not benefit from being stretched into a series.

They answer no when asked whether the film could be remade as a long Netflix series.

They reject the premise of remaking the film as a series, joking that only a Carla Jean’s mom spinoff would work.

Rather than endorse a remake, they drift into a joking pitch for a Sonny Landham documentary and side conversations about his life.

They conclude it could work as a Netflix series because the world and supporting characters are rich enough to sustain more time.

Chris presents Sean Penn brought my own pack as his flex-category choice, with a few other quick side awards mentioned.

They say they would probably die in the bathtub or bathroom once the torture escalates.

Craig argues the precogs should be restored to full use because the system's accuracy is still worth it.

Craig says Babe repeatedly misses obvious red flags and makes implausible choices, especially at the end.

They call Creed a modern classic and a near-perfect sports movie rewatch.

Sean’s pick is the Playboy poster on Elwood’s wall, which he treats as the standout memorabilia detail.

They split the two archetypes between Hanks and Cruise, with Cruise clearly tied to McGlone’s part.

They explicitly choose Tom Cruise over Tom Hanks for the Kid role.

They agree the role should stay with Cruise, while noting Hanks would be an interesting alternate version.

The hosts chose Hanks for Steve, while Bill argued for an early-career Cruise as Peter as the backup.

After talking it through, they settle on Cruise for the more fun, chaotic version of Brody and Hanks as the conventional alternative.

They decide Cruise fits Rudy better than Hanks because the role needs youthful, undersized intensity.

Bill Murray is the easy and unanimous pick for the Damn Waiters category.