THE CATEGORY
CABINET

They note that Spielberg's real childhood fears of clowns and a tree fed directly into the film.

They discussed the production research that went into staging the dog-show world and Willard's deliberately unresearched approach.

They thought Ferrell could handle the swan role, with the caveat that it would be a slightly different version of the character.

One host argues that the movie’s reveal logic shows up later in Boogie Nights.

They like the idea of imagining Van Lathan's escape plan in a bad situation, but never formalize a winner.

Van spins a justification that frames Nick's obsession as intellectual respect for a female author and creator.

Van improvises a survival pitch built on family guilt, freedom rhetoric, and persuading Smoke not to stake him.

The hosts agree the movie should be trimmed substantially, with Lamar's subplot and repetitive FBI scenes named as the easiest cuts.

They discuss the idea as a comparison-category suggestion, but do not settle on a movie-specific winner.

The hosts passionately speculate that Fiorentino would have been ideal for The Sopranos, but no actual on-screen winner exists because this is a hypothetical take.

They use the category to honor Borat’s own absurd narration, especially the line about his hobbies and watching ladies make a toilet.

The ice-cube-tray joke from the marriage story is treated as the category’s defining bit.

They separated location from scene and chose the Continental as the defining location of the movie's world.

For the best setting, they favor the Ghostbusters firehouse over the other locations mentioned.

They recast the leads for today and settle on Anthony Edwards, Tyler Herro, and 21 Savage as the best fits.

They say the movie should be trimmed down substantially, especially the labor and side-plot material.

They mostly debate what happened after the ending and whether Mike is dead, but do not settle on a single next-day outcome.

The likely aftermath they liked most was Precious being rehomed, though they also floated much darker sequel-style outcomes.

They float alternate futures for the playmate character after the movie, but do not settle on one clear outcome.

They agree Borat’s unwashed suit and method-actor stink make him smell worse than Indy.

They entertained the idea that the last stretch is legend or song after Jeremiah has already died.

They confirm a porn parody exists, starring John Holmes in a cop role in The Zodiac Killer.

They riff that the movie would be funnier with NFL-commentary style play-by-play, especially from Romo or Collinsworth.

Philip Baker Hall is the preferred upgrade, with a few other actors briefly considered for different roles.

They said Philip Baker Hall would fit best in a principal or authority role.

They mostly joke through the cast list and do not land on a single best fit.

They pick Byron Mayo, imagining him as Emmett in the movie.

They agree Wayne Jenkins could fit almost any role, especially the sheriff or Lewis.

They briefly fantasize about adding a random adult cameo, but Bill ultimately says the movie is better with nobody added.

In the bit category, Long Legs as the fortune-telling palm reader was the clear favorite, with Plainview as the poet also getting a tryout.

They ran through a comic rogue's gallery of replacements but concluded Fiennes is still the definitive Gustave.

They settle on young Sam Jackson as Billy Sparks as the funniest improvement to the cast.

They choose Samuel L. Jackson as Fortune, while also liking Philip Baker Hall in the priest role.

The discussion turns into impressions and jokes rather than a single settled winner, so there’s no clear consensus pick.

Kyle wants the church “let that tongue go” man to do the whole rundown on the hosts, and Bill goes with that absurd choice rather than the listed options.

They skip this one because the movie is already so well cast that no substitute performance is settled on.

They choose the random bystander/security-guard death as the most memorable nonvillain death in the movie.

They settle on Sam Jackson in the younger Secret Service role to add more energy and chemistry.

After tossing around several names, the conversation lands on Norm Macdonald as the funniest possible add to the movie’s world.

They riff on wildly different replacements, but no single alternate version becomes a clear consensus pick.

They agree this should judge how perfectly a movie accomplishes its own aims, and cite The Sandlot as a model example.

They picked the camera catching Coolidge and Lynch during the kiss as the best mockumentary-style shot.

He is awarded multiple actor trophies because his wildly committed performance dominates every scene he's in.

Cameron is credited as the film’s ultimate winner because of his control of the spectacle and invention.

They pick Perfect as Jamie Lee Curtis’s hottest-screen-image peak, while praising this movie too.

They argue Demi Moore had the stronger career path and effectively market-corrected Janine Turner.

The Sherpa is picked as the character who feels most like he wandered in from a different movie, with Katanga also considered.

They praise it as a straight-ahead home run and a better rewatch than the longer sequels.