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THE REWATCHABLES · February 8, 2022

Rachel Getting Married

A 2008 drama directed by Jonathan Demme, covered in the complete Rewatchables archive.

Drama2000sDirected by Jonathan Demme
Overall episode#240Source sheet order
Movie year20082000s
Tomatometer85%Critics’ score
Metacritic85View score
Roger Ebert4/4Original star rating
DirectorJonathan DemmeDrama

FROM THE CONVERSATION

What they said about the movie

The episode argues that Rachel Getting Married is an intensely dysfunctional, often excruciating family-wedding movie with standout performances, especially Anne Hathaway and Rosemary DeWitt, but also a script and directorial approach the hosts find uneven or undercooked. The discussion centers on Jonathan Demme’s humanism, the live-music wedding atmosphere, and whether the film is more memorable than emotionally complete.
Based only on this episode’s transcriptTimes approximateSpeakers were clearly identifiedExplore the connections

WHY IT WORKS

What made it rewatchable

  1. 01The wedding-weekend structure creates constant social pressure and escalating awkwardness, making the film easy to revisit in chunks. About 8 min
  2. 02Anne Hathaway’s volatile performance is seen as a key career-defining turn that keeps pulling the viewer back in. About 8 min
  3. 03The live, party-like music and the sense of a real event unfolding give the movie a distinctive atmosphere. About 32 min
  4. 04Several scenes are so uncomfortable or emotionally charged that they become memorable rewatch anchors. About 48 min

WHAT DID NOT WORK

Their main criticisms

  1. majorThe movie is thin emotionally and doesn’t fully support the amount of trauma it loads into the story. Opening minutes
  2. moderateJonathan Demme seems resistant to the family-drama material and wants the film to be more humane than the script allows. Opening minutes
  3. moderateThe film’s earnest multicultural signaling can feel over-earnest or self-congratulatory to the hosts. About 8 min
  4. moderateThe ending feels unresolved and the last 30 minutes are confusing or insufficiently developed. Opening minutes

SCENES THEY KEPT COMING BACK TO

Standout moments

mixed

Maid of honor argument

Kim learns she is not the maid of honor and immediately feels slighted, which launches family resentments.

About 48 min
Favorite

Toast / rehearsal dinner speech

Kim’s painfully awkward apology speech at the rehearsal dinner becomes one of the film’s most dreaded and memorable scenes.

About 48 min
Favorite

Dishwasher sequence and Ethan plate

A seemingly normal family chore becomes a warm-but-tense bonding moment before the Ethan plate reveal and another emotional collapse.

About 48 min
critical

Hair salon / recovery lie

Kim’s lie about recovery erupts into another family confrontation and exposes the damage beneath the reunion.

About 48 min
Favorite

Debra Winger and Anne Hathaway fight

The mother-daughter fight about Ethan’s death is treated as the movie’s darkest and most devastating scene.

About 48 min
mixed

End-of-film wedding and band performance

The final wedding passage is admired for the music and atmosphere but also seen as the point where the film becomes more concert than drama.

About 56 min

WHERE THEY DISAGREED

The biggest debates

They partly agreed Opening minutes

Is the movie emotionally deep or just thinly assembled around trauma?

Wesley Morris

It is thin and lacks enough underneath to justify the drama.

Bill Simmons

The trauma and redemption question give it enough interest and rewatch value.

Amanda Dobbins

It is excruciating and effective as a mess, even if not fully satisfying.

They partly agreed About 8 min

Does Jonathan Demme embrace or resist the script’s family melodrama?

Wesley Morris

He resists it and wants to heal the movie away from its darkness.

Amanda Dobbins

He seems to want the family to be okay rather than to wallow in dysfunction.

Bill Simmons

The film’s wedding setup and performances make the dysfunction work even if the ending is fuzzy.

No final agreement About 8 min

Is the film’s multicultural wedding atmosphere sincere, satirical, or self-congratulatory?

Wesley Morris

It feels self-congratulatory and overly earnest to him.

Bill Simmons

He thinks the film is presenting human interaction sincerely, not as parody.

Amanda Dobbins

She mostly frames it as part of Demme’s hopeful humanism, not satire.

They partly agreed About 48 min

Which is the key scene: the toast, the dishwasher, or the mother-daughter fight?

Bill Simmons

The mother-daughter fight is the clear peak, though the toast and dishwasher are essential.

Amanda Dobbins

The toast and the dread leading into it are the most memorable sequence.

Wesley Morris

The fight is the film’s peak because it is the darkest and most intense.

12 People discussedActors, directors, writers, and producers
very favorableAnne HathawayBill Simmons: Seen as the movie’s key performance and a peak moment in her career, with a lot of extra, squirmy energy that works here. About 8 min
favorableRosemarie DeWittBill Simmons: Praised as terrific and underappreciated; later named by Wesley as the movie winner. About 1:04
favorableDebra WingerAmanda Dobbins: Admired as a major presence in only a few scenes, with a strong physical impact and a fascinating career. About 32 min mixedJonathan DemmeWesley Morris: Praised for humanism and directing performances, but criticized for not fully embracing the family-drama core of the film. About 8 min
neutralJenny LumetWesley Morris: Identified as the screenplay writer; the hosts suggest the script’s darkness exceeds what Demme wants to stage. About 8 min
mixedBill IrwinWesley Morris: As the father, he is central to the family dynamics but sometimes overdoes the energy. About 1:04
favorableTunde AdebimpeWesley Morris: His character Sydney is noted for a beautiful song performance and for being a useful contrast in the wedding’s racial dynamics. About 32 min
favorableAnna Deavere SmithWesley Morris: Praised for facial reactions and a key moment of shared recognition amid the white family chaos. About 40 min neutralMary SteenburgenMentioned as a casting fantasy for the mother role in a hypothetical remake, without evaluative comment on this film. About 1:12 · medium confidencefavorablePaul Thomas AndersonAmanda Dobbins: Named as a filmmaker influenced by Demme and, in a casting what-if, as originally offered the Sydney role. About 24 min
neutralSydney LumetWesley Morris: Referenced through Jenny Lumet’s family background and as part of the film’s naming/cultural associations. About 56 min · medium confidence
neutralLena HorneWesley Morris: Named as Jenny Lumet’s grandmother in discussing the writer’s background. About 24 min
12 Conversation takesSpeakers shown only where the transcript identifies them
Bill SimmonsLiked it

Rachel Getting Married

Argues that the film is rewatchable because it contains memorable performances and a compelling central question about living after a terrible act.

Opening minutes
Amanda DobbinsMixed

Rachel Getting Married

Finds it excruciating and thinks Demme is resisting the melodrama, but still sees the film’s awkward family-event experience as effective and memorable.

Opening minutes
Wesley MorrisDid not like it

Rachel Getting Married

Says the movie is still thin and lacks the emotional substance needed to justify its trauma.

Opening minutes
Bill SimmonsLoved it

Anne Hathaway

Treats Hathaway’s performance as a peak and says she creates a character the audience is invested in.

About 8 min
Wesley MorrisLiked it

Anne Hathaway

Credits Hathaway with a lot of committed extra energy and sees her as a star who reveals a personality trait audiences may resist.

About 16 min
Amanda DobbinsLiked it

Jonathan Demme’s direction

Argues Demme cares more about making the family function than about the pure family-drama darkness, while still recognizing his humanism.

About 32 min
Wesley MorrisLiked it

Jonathan Demme’s career

Describes Demme as a major director of performances and an influential filmmaker with a weird, varied filmography.

About 16 min
Amanda DobbinsLiked it

The wedding rehearsal/speeches

Loves the dread of the rehearsal-dinner and toast sequence, where the room’s tension becomes unbearable and memorable.

About 48 min
Bill SimmonsLoved it

The dishwasher scene

Sees the dishwasher sequence as a functional-family moment that collapses into tragedy via the Ethan plate reveal.

About 48 min
Amanda DobbinsLoved it

Kim and mother fight

Thinks the mother-daughter confrontation is devastating and the emotional peak of the movie.

About 48 min
Wesley MorrisLoved it

Kim and mother fight

Agrees the confrontation is the most intense part of the film, though he says the film cannot really recover afterward.

About 48 min
Bill SimmonsLoved it

Debra Winger

Treats Winger as a huge heat-check presence and a major winner in the film despite limited screen time.

About 1:04
5 ThemesThe larger ideas in the discussion

Weddings as pressure-cooker narratives

The hosts treat the movie as an argument for how weddings intensify family dysfunction and force unresolved history into public view.

About 8 min

Family trauma and redemption

A central question is whether a person can be redeemed after causing catastrophic harm and how a family lives with that history.

About 8 min

Jonathan Demme’s humanism

They see Demme as a director who wants connection, empathy, and performance, even when the material is messy.

About 24 min

Performance over plot

The movie is valued more for acting, reactions, and moments than for airtight story mechanics.

About 24 min

Music as structure

Live music is treated as a defining formal choice that shapes the film’s rhythm and mood.

About 32 min
24 Facts and referencesProduction notes and other movies mentioned

Production note

Jenny Lumet is Sidney Lumet’s daughter and Lena Horne’s granddaughter.

About 24 min

Production note

The film had a $12 million budget and made $17.5 million.

About 40 min

Production note

There is no traditional score; the movie relies on live music played throughout the weekend.

About 32 min

Production note

Anne Hathaway reportedly complained about the music interfering with a scene, and Demme kept that take.

About 56 min

Production note

Robin Hitchcock appears as a wedding guest and performer.

About 56 min

Production note

The title was originally going to be Dancing with Shiva.

About 1:04

Production note

The dishwasher scene was based on an actual event involving Sidney Lumet and Bob Fosse.

About 1:04

Production note

Debra Winger reportedly turned down Raiders of the Lost Ark and Fatal Attraction, among other roles.

About 1:04

Production note

The role of Sydney was reportedly originally offered to Paul Thomas Anderson, who could not do it because of post-production on There Will Be Blood.

About 1:04

Ordinary People

Referenced as the previous Fucked Up Family February pick.

Opening minutes

Succession

Used as a comparison for dysfunctional-family event episodes and big gatherings.

About 8 min

The Truth About Charlie

Used as an example of Demme’s later work with different people sliding through a plot.

About 16 min

Stop Making Sense

Cited as Demme’s great concert film and a model of how to stage performance without audience cutaways.

About 24 min

Married to the Mob

Named among Demme’s earlier off-kilter comedy films.

About 16 min

Something Wild

Referenced as a tonal shift and one of Demme’s key earlier films.

About 16 min

Silence of the Lambs

Mentioned as Demme’s peak prestige hit and Oscar-winning breakthrough.

About 16 min

Philadelphia

Cited as part of Demme’s early-90s prestige run.

About 16 min

Beloved

Used in a discussion of Demme’s late career and adaptation challenges.

About 24 min

The Reader

Referenced because Kate Winslet beat Anne Hathaway at the Oscars.

About 40 min

Reunion

Cited as a favorite event-movie structure alongside weddings and holidays.

About 8 min · medium confidence

The Godfather

Referenced in connection with the power of long event sequences in movies.

About 1:04

A League of Their Own

Mentioned in Deborah Winger career trivia.

About 1:04

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Referenced in a side conversation about Sarah Paulson.

About 1:12

Euphoria

Cited as a modern comparison for a painful family confrontation/intervention scene.

About 56 min · medium confidence
10 Running jokes and short linesRecurring bits captured from the conversation

Fucked Up Family February

A recurring framing device for the episode and the source of the movie’s deliberately dysfunctional lens.

Opening minutes

Party-sequence obsession

Wesley repeatedly returns to the idea that movies are great when they center on large social gatherings.

About 8 min

Anne Hathaway as extra/theater kid

The hosts circle back to Hathaway’s intense, highly committed persona as both her strength and a source of public irritation.

About 16 min

Debra Winger deep-dive

The conversation becomes a mini-career retrospective on Winger’s choices, conflicts, and mystique.

About 1:04

Dishwasher pride

The hosts joke and argue about dishwasher loading as a family-status ritual.

About 48 min

Bill Simmons

“This is a very dysfunctional movie.”
Opening minutes

Wesley Morris

“It is still thin.”
Opening minutes

Amanda Dobbins

“This movie is a hundred minute argument”
Opening minutes

Bill Simmons

“Who do I have to be now?”
About 48 min

Bill Simmons

“Don't you think they were parodying that though?”
About 8 min

MAKE IT A MOVIE NIGHT

Where to watch

UNITED STATES

Checking where Rachel Getting Married is available…

WHAT TO WATCH NEXT

Movies to watch before and after.

Three movies to watch before Rachel Getting Married, and three to watch next.

Finding six movies…Three to watch first and three to watch next.
Includes a Rewatchables episodePosters from TMDB.

ON THE MIC

3 voices on this episode

Bill Simmons headshotBill SimmonsThe Rewatchables
Amanda Dobbins headshotAmanda DobbinsThe Rewatchables
Wesley MorrisThe Rewatchables

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