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THE REWATCHABLES · June 15, 2022

Hard to Kill

A 1990 action / crime / martial arts directed by Bruce Malmuth, covered in the complete Rewatchables archive.

ActionCrimeMartial Arts1990sDirected by Bruce Malmuth
Overall episode#259Source sheet order
Movie year19901990s
Tomatometer33%Critics’ score
Metacritic41View score
Roger Ebert—No review recorded
DirectorBruce MalmuthAction / Crime / Martial Arts

FROM THE CONVERSATION

What they said about the movie

A highly enthusiastic defense of Hard to Kill as peak early-90s Seagal: the hosts frame it as unintentionally hilarious, extremely rewatchable action-comedy, and a showcase for Seagal’s bizarre charisma, running, coma recovery, and signature arm-breaking.
Based only on this episode’s transcriptTimes approximateSpeakers were clearly identifiedExplore the connections

WHY IT WORKS

What made it rewatchable

  1. 01Seagal’s seven-year coma setup and absurd recovery montage are treated as endlessly rewatchable. About 24 min
  2. 02The 'blood bank' line is singled out as an all-time great action-movie quote. About 16 min
  3. 03The movie’s dead-serious tone makes it accidentally hilarious. Opening minutes
  4. 04Seagal’s signature arm-breaking action provides a repeatable payoff. About 8 min
  5. 05The liquor store robbery and the later pool-stick brawl are described as standout fun sequences. About 24 min

WHAT DID NOT WORK

Their main criticisms

  1. majorKelly LeBrock’s performance and character are described as terrible, underwritten, and bizarre. About 32 min
  2. majorThe love scene between Seagal and LeBrock is considered one of the worst ever filmed. About 32 min
  3. moderateSeagal’s look, especially the hair/beard combo, is mocked as cheap and Halloween-costume-like. About 40 min
  4. majorThe film’s sexual politics and lack of intimacy coordination are called gross and uncomfortable. About 40 min
  5. majorSeagal’s real-life behavior and reputation are discussed as deeply reprehensible. About 40 min

SCENES THEY KEPT COMING BACK TO

Standout moments

positive

Secret dock surveillance opening

Storm films a corrupt dock meeting and gathers evidence while the movie opens in full conspiracy mode.

Opening minutes
Favorite

Liquor store robbery

Storm chats about the Oscars, then wipes out the robbers and makes a joke on the way out.

About 24 min
Favorite

Coma awakening and hospital hitman scene

Storm wakes from the coma, wheels himself through the hospital, and dispatches an assassin.

About 24 min
Favorite

Coma recovery montage

Storm shaves, trains, does acupuncture, writes Chinese characters, and rebuilds himself in a wildly compressed montage.

About 24 min
Favorite

Blood bank line and Ojai shootout

The movie’s most quoted line triggers the final revenge action at the house in Ojai.

About 16 min
positive

Pool-stick brawl and revenge kill

Storm fights through the final brawl and kills a henchman with the 'that's for my wife' line.

About 32 min

WHERE THEY DISAGREED

The biggest debates

They partly agreed About 8 min

Whether Hard to Kill or Out for Justice is Seagal’s best title/movie

Kyle Brandt

Hard to Kill is funniest and most rewatchable, though Out for Justice may be the best overall title/movie.

Bill Simmons

Agrees Hard to Kill works best as this episode’s movie, while acknowledging other Seagal titles are strong.

No final agreement About 8 min

Whether Seagal’s martial arts legitimacy was real or mostly image

Kyle Brandt

He looks cool and has presence, but may not be as technically impressive as Van Damme.

Bill Simmons

Questions the gap between Seagal’s mystique and actual athleticism, especially his running and punching style.

They partly agreed About 1:12

Best Seagal apex-mountain movie

Kyle Brandt

Under Siege is Seagal’s true apex because it was the biggest success.

Bill Simmons

Leans toward Under Siege too, while noting Hard to Kill is the funniest/comedy apex.

They agreed About 1:12

Best title for this film

Kyle Brandt

Hard to Kill is great but Seven Year Storm is also cool as a trade title.

Bill Simmons

Prefers Hard to Kill as the final literal title.

11 People discussedActors, directors, writers, and producers
mixedSteven SeagalKyle Brandt: Praised for early-90s charisma and action-star presence, but also mocked for running, acting, and later reprehensible conduct. Opening minutes criticalKelly LeBrockBill Simmons: Discussed as a nostalgic 80s icon whose Hard to Kill performance is weak and uncomfortable. About 32 min
neutralBill SadlerKyle Brandt: Senator Trent is treated as a solid villain performance and a familiar character actor spot. About 24 min
favorableBranscombe RichmondKyle Brandt: Identified as a classic 'that guy' actor and a memorable henchman. About 56 min
neutralMichael OvitzKyle Brandt: Presented as the powerful agent who helped launch Seagal’s movie career. About 16 min
neutralTerry SemelKyle Brandt: Referenced as part of the studio machinery that promoted Seagal as a major star. About 16 min
favorableAndrew DavisKyle Brandt: His direction of Above the Law and Under Siege is cited as part of Seagal’s rise. About 8 min
neutralDana WhiteKyle Brandt: Used in an anecdote about Seagal in the UFC orbit. About 8 min
neutralAnderson SilvaKyle Brandt: Mentioned as the fighter Seagal once escorted, underscoring Seagal’s strange later image. About 8 min
favorableBill O'MalleyKyle Brandt: The cop ally is praised for the emotional death scene and for sharing Miller High Lifes with Storm. About 24 min
criticalSenator TrentKyle Brandt: The villain is mocked for his repetitive 'take that to the bank' line and corrupt persona. About 16 min
8 Conversation takesSpeakers shown only where the transcript identifies them
Kyle BrandtLoved it

Hard to Kill

Calls it one of the most rewatchable Seagal movies and a perfect, funny action vehicle.

Opening minutes
Kyle BrandtLoved it

Steven Seagal

Treats early-90s Seagal as an awesome, charismatic star before the later decline.

Opening minutes
Bill SimmonsLoved it

the blood bank line

Treats the blood-bank line as one of the best moments in the history of action movies.

About 16 min
Kyle BrandtLoved it

Seagal running

Finds Seagal’s running so funny it is a favorite recurring image and a trademark.

About 40 min
Kyle BrandtLoved it

the coma recovery montage

Reads the recovery montage as the movie’s most rewatchable stretch.

About 24 min
Bill SimmonsDid not like it

Kelly LeBrock

Sees her performance as very bad and her scenes as deeply awkward.

About 32 min
Kyle BrandtLiked it

Seagal's wife character

Thinks the first wife character and murder setup provide some of the film’s best over-the-top material.

About 32 min · medium confidence
Bill SimmonsLoved it

the 1988-1992 action era

Argues that this was the apex of star-driven action movies and cannot be duplicated.

Opening minutes
5 ThemesThe larger ideas in the discussion

Peak early-90s action-star ecosystem

The episode situates Hard to Kill inside a run of one-star action vehicles from 1988-1992 and treats that era as unrepeatable.

Opening minutes

Unintentional comedy

The hosts keep stressing that the movie is played straight but now functions as a comedy.

Opening minutes

Action-star persona as branding

Seagal’s ponytail, low voice, and arm-breaking style are framed as his signature branding in the genre.

About 8 min

Ego and delusion

Seagal is portrayed as believing his own hype and wanting prestige roles beyond his abilities.

About 16 min

Reputation collapse

The episode contrasts 1990 charisma with later scandal, explaining why he is now a punchline.

About 40 min
23 Facts and referencesProduction notes and other movies mentioned

Production note

The film was originally titled Seven Year Storm before Warner Bros. changed it to Hard to Kill.

About 1:12

Production note

The movie grossed $59 million against an $11.5 million budget.

About 16 min

Production note

Roger Ebert declined to review Hard to Kill.

About 16 min

Production note

Warner Bros. re-edited the movie down to about 95 minutes.

About 1:04

Production note

An alternate ending reportedly had Storm kill Trent and say 'take that to the bank.'

About 1:04

Production note

Seagal allegedly broke Sean Connery’s wrist while teaching him martial arts.

About 1:04

Production note

Seagal was known for only spending about three hours a day on set and for hitting stuntmen.

About 1:04

Production note

The film features a Johnny Carson clip and a running gag around the late-night show.

About 48 min

Top Gun

Used as a comparison for how audiences now read serious scenes as funny.

Opening minutes

Cobra

Referenced as another action movie that now plays as comedy.

About 8 min

Roadhouse

Cited as a combination of action and comedy in the same era.

About 8 min

The Fugitive

Used to discuss director Andrew Davis and the quality of action-thriller filmmaking.

About 8 min

Under Siege

Named as Seagal’s biggest commercial hit and true peak.

About 8 min

Above the Law

Mentioned as Seagal’s first film and a precursor to Hard to Kill.

About 8 min

Mark for Death

Included in the string of early Seagal films and the Jamaican-villain discussion.

About 8 min

Out for Justice

Discussed as maybe the best Seagal title and a later film with similar appeal.

About 8 min

Die Hard 2

Referenced as part of the era of big action films and via Bill Sadler’s casting.

Opening minutes

Rocky IV

Used to describe Kyle’s prior Rewatchables appearances and training-montage thinking.

Opening minutes

Kill Bill

Kyle argues Tarantino borrowed this movie’s coma-revenge setup.

About 1:04

The Shawshank Redemption

Referenced through Bill Sadler’s later role in it.

About 24 min

Breakfast Club

Used as a source for Paul Gleeson as a possible Senator Trent.

About 1:04

The Weird Science

Kelly LeBrock’s prior iconic role is referenced to explain her 80s cachet.

About 32 min

Commando

Used in a joke about Seagal’s eventual hair/body comparison and about missing a father/child aftermath pattern.

About 40 min · medium confidence
10 Running jokes and short linesRecurring bits captured from the conversation

Seagal running

The hosts repeatedly imitate and mock Seagal’s awkward, downward-armed sprinting style.

About 40 min

Take that to the bank / blood bank

The movie’s central quote becomes a recurring punchline and a benchmark action-movie line.

About 16 min

Three-word Seagal titles

They joke that Seagal’s movies all have clipped, generic three-word names.

About 8 min

Huge penis / coma-bed joke

They keep returning to the bizarre suggestion that Storm has an enormous body under the sheets.

About 24 min

Oscar jokes at the liquor store

The robber scene’s random Oscar dialogue is revisited as a surreal comedic detail.

About 24 min

Kyle Brandt

“I'm gonna take you to the bank”
About 16 min

Kyle Brandt

“To the blood bank”
About 16 min

Kyle Brandt

“That's for my wife. Fuck you and die.”
About 32 min

Kyle Brandt

“I have no words”
About 40 min

Bill Simmons

“Superior attitude, superior state of mind”
About 1:12

MAKE IT A MOVIE NIGHT

Where to watch

UNITED STATES

Checking where Hard to Kill is available…

WHAT TO WATCH NEXT

Movies to watch before and after.

Three movies to watch before Hard to Kill, and three to watch next.

Finding six movies…Three to watch first and three to watch next.
Includes a Rewatchables episodePosters from TMDB.

ON THE MIC

2 voices on this episode

Bill Simmons headshotBill SimmonsThe Rewatchables
Kyle Brandt headshotKyle BrandtThe Rewatchables

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