A highly enthusiastic, joke-filled discussion treating Cobra as a gloriously excessive 1980s action movie that has become an inadvertent comedy. The hosts praise its star power, ridiculousness, action scenes, product placement, and odd editing, while noting its incoherence and wild excess.
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01The supermarket shootout is treated as the signature scene, combining tense action with absurdly confident Stallone behavior. About 32 min
02Stallone's bizarre choices—match toothpick, sunglasses, frozen pizza with scissors—make the movie endlessly quotable and rewatchable. About 32 min
03The film's 80s excess and lack of self-awareness make it feel like a time capsule of action-movie escalation. Opening minutes
04The Night Slasher and his cult give the movie a memorable villain side and a horror-movie energy. About 24 min
WHAT DID NOT WORK
Their main criticisms
moderateThe movie is incoherent because a later edit cut roughly 30 to 40 minutes of backstory and connective tissue. About 8 min
moderateThe diner/flirting scene between Cobra and the witness is badly written and awkward. About 32 min
minorBrigitte Nielsen's wig and robot-fashion montage look dated and strange. About 48 min
minorThe final villain twist with the dirty cop and the original satanic-tattoo ending are discussed as messy or unnecessary cut material. About 48 min · medium confidence
SCENES THEY KEPT COMING BACK TO
Standout moments
Favorite
Supermarket shootout
Cobra calmly enters a grocery store during a mass shooting, stalks the aisles, and kills the attackers in a scene both hosts call the movie's best.
About 32 min Favorite
Apartment pizza and Toys R Us scene
Cobra returns home, eats frozen pizza with scissors, and watches a Toys R Us commercial, which the hosts relish as absurd character business.
About 32 min positive
Hospital attack
The Night Slasher stalks Brigitte at a darkened hospital, creating a classic slasher-movie set piece.
About 40 min positive
Downtown LA car chase
A fragmented but fun chase through downtown Los Angeles and odd locations like a duck pond and freeway.
About 40 min critical
Diner flirtation
A clunky attempt at romance between Cobra and the witness, highlighted by ketchup-on-fries and a giant cheeseburger.
About 32 min mixed
Final warehouse shootout
An overlong, fiery climax with meat hooks, the Night Slasher's manifesto, and Cobra's final line about where the law stops and he starts.
About 48 min mixed
Robot fashion montage
Brigitte models among robots while Cobra walks through a homeless sweep, which the hosts find laughably dated but memorable.
About 48 min
WHERE THEY DISAGREED
The biggest debates
They agreed Opening minutes
Whether Cobra is an action movie or a comedy-horror movie
Bill Simmons
It now plays as a comedy and horror-comedy hybrid.
Kyle Brandt
It is one of the funniest movies of the 80s and should be treated as comedic.
They partly agreed About 8 min
Whether the shortened edit hurts the film
Bill Simmons
The movie was cut down from a longer, more ambitious version and lost connective tissue.
Kyle Brandt
The incoherent fast version is preferable as a lean fast-food experience.
They partly agreed About 48 min
Whether the deleted satanic-tattoo ending would have improved the movie
Bill Simmons
He thinks it would have been a great ending.
Kyle Brandt
He is surprised and interested, calling it a possible stronger version.
They agreed About 32 min
Most rewatchable scene
Bill Simmons
The supermarket scene is the best, though he also loves the apartment pizza bit.
Kyle Brandt
The supermarket scene is the clear winner.
19 People discussedActors, directors, writers, and producers
neutralRick WaiteBill Simmons: Cited in a production anecdote about Stallone being told delays were caused by fooling around with Nielsen and bodyguards. About 8 min
favorableBrian ThompsonBill Simmons: Praised as physically imposing, scary, and a standout villain whose character was underwritten but effective. About 8 min
favorableArt LaFleurBill Simmons: Chosen as the standout that-guy, with Bill joking about his friendly, recognizable face from Field of Dreams. About 56 min
