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THE REWATCHABLES · August 4, 2022

Can't Buy Me Love

A 1987 comedy / romance directed by Steve Rash, covered in the complete Rewatchables archive.

ComedyRomance1980sDirected by Steve Rash
Overall episode#267Source sheet order
Movie year19871980s
Tomatometer48%Critics’ score
Metacritic36View score
Roger Ebert—No review recorded
DirectorSteve RashComedy / Romance

FROM THE CONVERSATION

What they said about the movie

A nostalgic but pointed discussion of Can't Buy Me Love as a foundational, highly ripped-off 1980s teen movie about popularity, self-betrayal, and teenage status games. The hosts admire its pace, iconography, and influence while also flagging dated, offensive elements and some structural flaws.
Based only on this episode’s transcriptTimes approximateSpeakers were clearly identifiedExplore the connections

WHY IT WORKS

What made it rewatchable

  1. 01It crystallizes the 'do anything to be popular' teen-movie formula that later films copied. Opening minutes
  2. 02It has a series of iconic scenes and lines that are easy to revisit and quote. About 32 min
  3. 03Its 1980s look and teen-movie atmosphere remain vivid and pleasurable on rewatch. About 16 min
  4. 04Amanda Peterson and Patrick Dempsey are unusually compelling as leads, making the movie easy to root for. About 8 min

WHAT DID NOT WORK

Their main criticisms

  1. majorThe movie uses offensive language and dated stereotypes, including repeated slurs and an ugly 'special ed' insult. About 48 min
  2. moderateThe women's locker room scene feels implausible and male-gazey. About 48 min
  3. minorSome scenes and supporting performances are weak or unnecessary, especially Ronald's dinner-table report-card scene and Bobby's acting. About 56 min
  4. moderateThe movie is structurally flawed and imperfect despite the strong premise. Opening minutes

SCENES THEY KEPT COMING BACK TO

Standout moments

Favorite

Rental agreement in the telescope scene

Ronald offers Cindy $1,000 to date him so he can become popular.

About 24 min
Favorite

Car wash poem scene

Cindy reads a terrible poem and Ronald mistakenly doesn't realize she likes him.

About 24 min
Favorite

Airplane graveyard date

Ronald takes Cindy to an airplane graveyard, which they both think is a great date idea.

About 32 min
Favorite

African Anteater Ritual dance

Ronald's awkward dance accidentally becomes cool and defines the film's comic peak.

About 32 min
Favorite

Cindy's exposure of Ronald

Cindy reveals the truth about the deal, humiliating Ronald and the social climbers around him.

About 32 min
Favorite

Kenneth's 'you shit on my house' confrontation

Kenneth explodes at Ronald after the prank, producing the film's most quotable line.

About 32 min
Favorite

Final cafeteria speech and handshake

Ronald defends Kenneth, rejects the social hierarchy, and the movie climaxes in a slow clap and handshake.

About 40 min

WHERE THEY DISAGREED

The biggest debates

They agreed Opening minutes

Whether the film is foundational or just derivative

Bill Simmons

Foundational, because it created the popularity-buying template that later movies copied.

Juliet Litman

Agreeing, but emphasizing how many later teen films explicitly reworked or sanitized it.

They partly agreed About 8 min

Whether Patrick Dempsey is a good or odd celebrity hang

Juliet Litman

Questions whether he has evidence of being a fun, cool celebrity.

Bill Simmons

Treats him as charming but notes a very strange personal history.

They partly agreed About 32 min

Most rewatchable scene

Bill Simmons

Chooses Kenneth's 'you shit on my house' confrontation.

Juliet Litman

Initially leans toward that scene but says the dance is also a contender.

They agreed About 40 min

What aged best: the lead car and fashion vs. other elements

Bill Simmons

The Volkswagen Cabriolet, Cindy's clothes, and the movie's setting still look great.

Juliet Litman

Agrees that the fashion and aesthetic have held up well.

They partly agreed About 1:04

How to imagine a modern remake or sequel

Bill Simmons

Suggests a sequel with Patrick Dempsey as an adult parent.

Juliet Litman

Prefers a darker prestige-TV version with reversed genders and heavier stakes.

12 People discussedActors, directors, writers, and producers
favorablePatrick DempseyBill Simmons: Praised as breakout-star material whose career later revived through Grey's Anatomy and Sweet Home Alabama. About 8 min
very favorableAmanda PetersonBill Simmons: Admired as charming, likable, and the movie's standout performer, though her life story is discussed as tragic. About 8 min
neutralDennis DuganBill Simmons: Mentioned as the director, mainly through his later Adam Sandler connection. About 56 min · medium confidencecriticalRoger EbertBill Simmons: His 0.5-star review is cited as an example of the movie's bad critical reception. About 16 min neutralMichael JacksonBill Simmons: Referenced as the owner of the Beatles catalog who approved the opening song use for money. About 56 min neutralPaula AbdulBill Simmons: Cited as the choreographer for the movie. About 56 min
favorableCourtney GainesBill Simmons: Praised for playing Kenneth/Malachi and for the 'you shit on my house' sequence. About 32 min
favorableSeth GreenJuliet Litman: Mentioned as the little brother and as an actor who clearly made the role his own. About 24 min
neutralKirk CameronBill Simmons: Referenced in connection with Amanda Peterson's other film Listen to Me. About 16 min
favorableLori LoughlinBill Simmons: Used as a comparison for the kind of career Bill imagined Peterson could have had. About 8 min · medium confidence
favorableKelly PrestonBill Simmons: Another comparison point for an actress Bill thought Peterson could have become. About 8 min · medium confidenceneutralJulia RobertsBill Simmons: Suggested as a possible casting alternative for one of Cindy's friends. About 56 min
12 Conversation takesSpeakers shown only where the transcript identifies them
Bill SimmonsLoved it

Can't Buy Me Love

Calls it one of the most important high-school movies ever and one of the most ripped-off movies ever.

Opening minutes
Juliet LitmanLiked it

Can't Buy Me Love

Agrees that it is foundational, noting later films copied its structure and tone.

Opening minutes
Bill SimmonsLoved it

Cindy Mancini

Finds Cindy likable and thinks Amanda Peterson is the movie's best performer.

About 16 min
Juliet LitmanLoved it

Cindy Mancini

Agrees Cindy is unusually likable for a teen-movie heroine and grounded morally.

About 16 min
Bill SimmonsLiked it

Patrick Dempsey

Sees Dempsey as highly watchable and notes that later roles validated his charm and appeal.

About 8 min
Juliet LitmanLiked it

Patrick Dempsey

Says Dempsey's later career, especially Grey's Anatomy, made his teen role more legible in hindsight.

About 8 min
Bill SimmonsLoved it

African Anteater Ritual dance

Treats the dance as one of the defining 1980s movie scenes, absurd and unforgettable.

About 32 min
Juliet LitmanLoved it

Cindy exposing Ronald

Calls Cindy's drunken takedown pitch-perfect and one of the movie's best scenes.

About 32 min
Bill SimmonsLoved it

You shit on my house scene

Ranks Kenneth's outburst among the most famous 1980s movie moments.

About 32 min
Juliet LitmanLoved it

Being yourself versus selling out

Reads the ending as a genuine moral reset rather than just a joke payoff.

About 32 min
Bill SimmonsDid not like it

Love Don't Cost a Thing

Dismisses the 2003 remake as inferior and irritatingly renamed.

About 48 min
Bill SimmonsLiked it

Easy A

Sees Easy A as a modern spiritual descendant that intentionally echoes the ending and premise.

About 48 min
4 ThemesThe larger ideas in the discussion

Popularity as currency

The central concept is a teen trying to buy his way into social status, which the hosts see as the movie's key innovation.

Opening minutes

Authenticity versus performance

Ronald's arc is framed as a betrayal of self and a return to being genuine.

About 32 min

Teen-movie influence

The hosts treat the film as a template for later teen comedies, TV dramas, and rom-com beats.

About 8 min

1980s high-school mythology

The movie is discussed as part of the era when high-school movies became a major lens for understanding adolescence.

About 8 min
25 Facts and referencesProduction notes and other movies mentioned

Production note

The movie was made for roughly $1.7 million and grossed $31.6 million.

About 16 min

Production note

Roger Ebert gave the film 0.5 stars.

About 16 min

Production note

Amanda Peterson was 15 when they made the movie and died at 43.

About 16 min

Production note

The film's choreography was by Paula Abdul.

About 56 min

Production note

The school was Tucson High School and the film used a real airport graveyard near Davis-Monthan Air Force Base.

About 56 min

Production note

The production built a football field and stage for the school as part of the deal.

About 56 min

Production note

Chuck Lorre wrote a song used in the movie.

About 56 min

Production note

Patrick Dempsey used his salary to buy his first car, a 1963 Porsche 356 convertible.

About 56 min

Production note

The Beatles song in the opening credits was licensed from Michael Jackson's catalog.

About 56 min

Production note

Bill believes the movie did not mention college at all, which he treats as a major oddity.

About 1:04

Pretty Woman

Used as another example of a monetary relationship at the center of a romance.

Opening minutes

Risky Business

Cited as part of the 1980s high-school/coming-of-age run and as another teen-adjacent template.

Opening minutes

The Breakfast Club

Held up as a better-written 1980s high-school movie.

About 8 min

Drive Me Crazy

Named as a sanitized derivative of the film's premise.

Opening minutes

10 Things I Hate About You

Described as owing a lot to Can't Buy Me Love despite being a Shakespeare adaptation.

Opening minutes

90210

Referenced as a show that borrowed the movie's visual and social templates.

About 16 min

Mean Girls

Mentioned as another film that borrowed the betrayal/popularity dynamics.

About 16 min

Can't Hardly Wait

Called an homage and a descendant of the exposure scene and teen-party structure.

About 32 min

Easy A

Cited as a modern spiritual remake that deliberately echoes the ending and tone.

About 32 min

Grease

Used as a comparison for earlier, less grounded high-school movies.

About 16 min

Pulp Fiction

Referenced while discussing the Big Kahuna Burger award and the milkshake gag.

About 48 min

Major League

Mentioned in relation to Big John, a recurring character actor.

About 40 min

Children of the Corn

Referenced because Courtney Gaines played Malachi there.

About 32 min

Revenge of the Nerds

Used as a comparison for the locker-room scene and male-gaze excess.

About 48 min

Brubaker

Cited as the source of an earlier slow clap in Bill's research.

About 1:04
11 Running jokes and short linesRecurring bits captured from the conversation

Stephen A. Smith hot-take framing

Bill jokingly treats his strongest opinions as a run of 'hottest takes.'

Opening minutes

Teen-movie ripoff catalog

The hosts repeatedly name later films that borrowed this movie's premise or scenes.

About 8 min

Grey's Anatomy / McDreamy detour

Juliet keeps returning to her intense emotional response to Patrick Dempsey's later TV fame.

About 8 min

1980s school-world nostalgia

They riff on the simplified cliques, tables, gym layouts, and cable rewatch culture of the era.

About 16 min

Half-assed research segment

Bill drops assorted production trivia and location facts as a joking research dump.

About 56 min

Craig warming up to the movie

Producer Craig starts skeptical but comes around while offering a theory about 1980s execution versus modern polish.

About 1:12

Bill Simmons

“I want to rent you.”
About 24 min

Bill Simmons

“You shit on my house!”
About 32 min

Bill Simmons

“It is tough enough to be yourself.”
About 40 min

Bill Simmons

“I've seen zombies with more individuality.”
About 48 min

Bill Simmons

“Who’s the dick with ears?”
About 48 min

MAKE IT A MOVIE NIGHT

Where to watch

UNITED STATES

Checking where Can't Buy Me Love is available…

WHAT TO WATCH NEXT

Movies to watch before and after.

Three movies to watch before Can't Buy Me Love, and three to watch next.

Finding six movies…Three to watch first and three to watch next.
Includes a Rewatchables episodePosters from TMDB.

ON THE MIC

2 voices on this episode

Bill Simmons headshotBill SimmonsThe Rewatchables
Juliet LitmanThe Rewatchables

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